If you follow me on Insta you’ll know that I’ve brought this up before but I really think it’s worth revisiting.
It’s not a competition.
How many times have you found yourself tallying up the nappies you and your partner have done for the day, the amount of times you have both gotten up to settle the baby during the night before or who fed the broken pooing alarm clock last?
I know I’m guilty of this! When I get home from a long day at work and I see there is a job to be done I automatically start thinking of all the things I’ve done that day so I can use them as an excuse to try and make Nicole feel like it’s only fair that she does the job instead of me. (I’m an idiot for doing it, I know). I’ve always got a great excuse but the thing is so does Nicole. We’re both parents, we both wake up to a list of chores and go to bed with more things to tick off when we wake up. That’s the life we chose and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
I find myself continually needing to remind myself that we’re in this together. It’s not a competition, Nicole is just as shattered as I am and if I’m completely honest the truth is she’s probably even more shattered than me because her job doesn’t have an off switch, sick leave policy or lunch break. As hard and stressful as my job can be at times it’s my ‘escape’. It’s where I get to be an adult that doesn’t operate on the demands of a toddler, where I actually eat lunch in peace and don’t even need a quick-eze afterwards. At this point I should note that my kids are actually (most of the time) really well behaved and absolute standup gentleman but we all know that it can often seem like an eternity of pain and torture sometimes 😂
The point we need to remember is that Love is about putting our spouse first. Parenting is like WWE, if you can see your partner is getting their *%#+ handed to them it’s obviously time to tag team yourself in the game and give them a breather!
Now, this whole concept of putting your spouse first only works if you’ve got two people agreeing to participate. For some of us that might mean that we need to have a good think about our current game plan when we get in the ring (I’ve chosen the WWE analogy and I’m running with it!). For others it might mean a level headed chat with our spouse to talk about the concept of getting out of the ‘competition’ outlook on life. What ever one it is for you I wish you all the best of luck. None of us are perfect and it’s a continually revisited subject but we can only keep continuing to strive towards our best for the most important people in our lives.
For all of those single parents I would like to congratulate you for being amazing people! I don’t know how you get through back to back rounds of WWE without someone tagging you out for a break. It’s no wonder why all of my mates who had single parent’s turned out to be such amazing people, they were learning from some of the best!