I am eating leftover birthday cake for dinner. At 10:35pm. And I am eating my husbands piece because he is sick. And for someone who is usually at work for 80% of our children’s awake hours, you wouldn’t think having him sick would make much of a difference. But it totally has.
Today was hell. And I don’t know what hell looks like, but I expect it to be filled with whiney toddlers, hungry and bored pre-teens, overflowing dishes and washing from god knows when. No need to imagine the heat, it’s pretty effing hot across Australia right now.
The toddler napped at 5pm. I could easy end my rant there because every mother knows that you might as well give up now. Throw in the towel and call it a day. But you can’t because that towel is probably dirty on the bathroom floor anyway.
The big boys dinner was cooking in the oven when the toddler woke at 6. In an attempt to get him to stay down the for the night, I fed him and tried to resettle. More than happy to leave him in his swimming shirt and dirty feet that he fell asleep with. And as luck would have it, he was drifting off. This may actually work! I was gleefully cocky. Then the alarm went off for the oven. And before I could say ‘for f@&k sake‘ under my breath, his eyes opened nice and wide and I knew, because the husband was sick and useless to me at this point, that the toddler was getting up.
I wonder how one who was so tired just seconds earlier, now has an abundance of energy, and not just normal energy, an energy unlike anything that resembled the energy he had during the day. An energy that feels like you were about to cross the finish line of a marathon and then this annoying little race marshal moves that big ribbon another 5kms and says sucked in and then trips you over.
So after a nice long walk until it was dark, with my dirty hair and now mosquito savaged body I assume he is ready for bed. He is not. He wants to play. Come on kid. Even my fit bit has died and turned off. The day is over. Go to sleep.
No we are not going outside.
“Oh no… Outside??”
Nope. We have been outside. Although outside is looking pretty good right now. Just you though.
Soon I won’t be able to say these things to his face as he will understand what I am saying but won’t understand my sarcasm with a hint of the truth. Sigh.
So, at 10:35, I leave his sleeping body that is now sprawled across my bed, creep down the stairs quietly, trying not to wake the husband and other offspring and I get the biggest fork I can find.
I sit at the table in the quiet with my cake.
Bliss. Uninterrupted bliss.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. And the countdown has already started.
*Lisa is one half of Bargain Mum and her thoughts are her own. Although she can confidently assume that Jess has not only done this but has also perfected the ‘For f@&k sake’ parent motto.